FAQs

No. I won’t tell you what to do about the relationship, and I won’t push you toward reconciliation or toward staying distant. Both are valid outcomes. My role is to help you understand what you’re experiencing and work out what’s right for you, not to steer you toward a particular answer.

You don’t need to know before you start. Some people come to therapy with a clear goal, others come because something isn’t settled and they’re not sure why. Either is a reasonable place to begin.

I work with adults who are used to managing life well, until something changes. Often that’s estrangement: a relationship that’s broken down, gone distant, or never worked the way it should. It might also be a different transition, loss, or a quieter sense that something no longer feels right. If what used to work isn’t working in the same way, that’s often where we begin.

Both. Estrangement rarely has only one side experiencing it. I work with people who’ve made the decision to create distance, people who’ve been on the receiving end of it, and people who aren’t sure which of those describes them. I won’t take sides between the two positions, in a relationship generally or in yours specifically.

No. A sense that something isn’t quite right is enough. You don’t need a diagnosis, a crisis, or a specific problem to name. Many people come simply because something feels different and they can’t quite explain it.

Not at all. Many of the people I work with look completely composed on the outside, working, managing responsibilities, keeping things together for everyone else, while privately finding that something takes up far more emotional space than they’d like. Coping well doesn’t mean nothing’s going on. Seeking support isn’t a sign you can’t cope, it’s what allows you to keep coping well. Sessions are fully confidential and professional. No one needs to know unless you choose to share it.

That’s one of the most common things I hear. You don’t have to arrive knowing how this works. That’s my role. The work begins the moment you allow yourself to stop holding it all together on your own.

When you’ve spent years keeping things contained, opening up can feel risky. But speaking about what’s been held inside doesn’t create the problem. It gives it air so it can start to settle. Therapy isn’t about losing control. It’s about creating a steady space where you can pause safely and begin to understand what’s going on. Most people find that naming what’s been unspoken brings relief rather than overwhelm.

Estrangement isn’t only full no-contact. It can also mean reduced contact, strained contact, or a relationship that’s technically ongoing but has lost whatever it used to be. If that’s your situation, it’s still estrangement, and it’s still something we can work with.

No. Estrangement doesn’t have a shelf life. Some people come to me shortly after contact stops, others years later, sometimes prompted by a specific event, sometimes not. There’s no point at which it becomes too late to make sense of it.

Growth often means meeting parts of yourself you’ve ignored or judged. It can feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s also freeing. You’ll gain understanding, not criticism. The goal isn’t to change who you are, but to live more easily as yourself.

Understandable. Therapy works differently from fixing a practical problem. By understanding what’s driving a pattern, you’re less likely to keep repeating it. That tends to save time and energy.

Therapy doesn’t take control away. It helps you redefine it. You stay in charge of your pace and what you choose to explore. The change that happens tends to feel more like alignment than disruption.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) is a structured therapy that helps the brain process experiences that are stuck. Unlike talking therapy, it doesn’t require you to describe difficult memories in detail or find the right words for what happened. It works directly with the nervous system, helping it process what it hasn’t been able to, so that past experiences lose their grip on how you feel and function now.

Many of the people I work with are self-aware and have already thought carefully about what happened, without that thinking changing how they feel or behave. EMDR can reach what reflection alone hasn’t been able to. Where estrangement is what we’re working on, it can sit alongside that work, addressing what the body is still carrying while the rest of the work builds understanding and practical change.

Sessions are currently available online. In-person sessions in Kent can be arranged by prior agreement, and I work with adults across the UK. If you’re unsure if this works for you, we can talk it through in your initial consultation.

Sessions are typically 50 minutes, once a week. Therapy often begins weekly to build steadiness and momentum, then becomes less frequent as you feel more grounded. We can agree a rhythm that works for you.

It varies. Some clients come for short-term work focused on a specific transition. Others stay longer as part of a deeper shift. You’re not locked in. We check in regularly and you decide what feels right.

Yes. Sessions are fully confidential. The only exceptions are where there are serious concerns about your safety or the safety of others, and these limits are explained clearly from the start.

Warm, attentive, and direct. I ask thoughtful questions, offer gentle challenge where it’s useful, and stay genuinely engaged in what’s happening for you. I’m not the therapist who simply nods along.

Fit matters. That’s why I offer an initial consultation. It’s a chance for you to get a feel for how I work, and for us to see whether this feels like the right space for you. There’s no pressure to commit.

Book an initial conversation to explore what’s happening for you and whether this feels like the right support. It’s simply a space to be heard and to decide what feels right at this stage.