FAQs

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Do you tell me whether I should reconcile or stay apart?

No. I won't tell you what to do about the relationship, and I won't push you toward reconciliation or toward staying distant. Both are valid outcomes. My role is to help you understand what you're experiencing and work out what's right for you, not to steer you toward a particular answer.

What if I don't know what I want yet?

You don't need to know before you start. Some people come to therapy with a clear goal, others come because something isn't settled and they're not sure why. Either is a reasonable place to begin.

Who do you work with?

I work with adults who are used to managing life well, until something changes. Often that's estrangement: a relationship that's broken down, gone distant, or never worked the way it should. It might also be a different transition, loss, or a quieter sense that something no longer feels right. If what used to work isn't working in the same way, that's often where we begin.

Do you work with people who've stepped away, or only people who've been left?

Both. Estrangement rarely has only one side experiencing it. I work with people who've made the decision to create distance, people who've been on the receiving end of it, and people who aren't sure which of those describes them. I won't take sides between the two positions, in a relationship generally or in yours specifically.

Do I need a clear reason to come to therapy?

No. A sense that something isn't quite right is enough. You don't need a diagnosis, a crisis, or a specific problem to name. Many people come simply because something feels different and they can't quite explain it.

Does coping well on the outside mean I don't need this?

Not at all. Many of the people I work with look completely composed on the outside, working, managing responsibilities, keeping things together for everyone else, while privately finding that something takes up far more emotional space than they'd like. Coping well doesn't mean nothing's going on. Seeking support isn't a sign you can't cope, it's what allows you to keep coping well. Sessions are fully confidential and professional. No one needs to know unless you choose to share it.

I'm not used to asking for help, what if I don't know how to do this?

That's one of the most common things I hear. You don't have to arrive knowing how this works. That's my role. The work begins the moment you allow yourself to stop holding it all together on your own.

What if talking about it makes things worse?

When you've spent years keeping things contained, opening up can feel risky. But speaking about what's been held inside doesn't create the problem. It gives it air so it can start to settle. Therapy isn't about losing control. It's about creating a steady space where you can pause safely and begin to understand what's going on. Most people find that naming what's been unspoken brings relief rather than overwhelm.

What if I'm still in some contact, just distant?

Estrangement isn't only full no-contact. It can also mean reduced contact, strained contact, or a relationship that's technically ongoing but has lost whatever it used to be. If that's your situation, it's still estrangement, and it's still something we can work with.

Is it too late to get support, even if this happened years ago?

No. Estrangement doesn't have a shelf life. Some people come to me shortly after contact stops, others years later, sometimes prompted by a specific event, sometimes not. There's no point at which it becomes too late to make sense of it.

What if I find out something I don't like about myself?

Growth often means meeting parts of yourself you've ignored or judged. It can feel uncomfortable at first, but it's also freeing. You'll gain understanding, not criticism. The goal isn't to change who you are, but to live more easily as yourself.

I'm afraid of wasting time talking instead of fixing things.

Understandable. Therapy works differently from fixing a practical problem. By understanding what's driving a pattern, you're less likely to keep repeating it. That tends to save time and energy.

What if therapy changes me in ways I can't control?

Therapy doesn't take control away. It helps you redefine it. You stay in charge of your pace and what you choose to explore. The change that happens tends to feel more like alignment than disruption.

What's the difference between therapy and coaching, and how do you combine them?

Therapy looks at what's happening beneath the surface: the patterns you've developed, where they came from, and what they cost you. Coaching looks at how you want to move forward and what might support that practically. In my work, the two sit alongside each other. Some sessions are more reflective, others more focused. The balance is always guided by what you need at any given point.

What is EMDR and how is it different from talking therapy?

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) is a structured therapy that helps the brain process experiences that are stuck. Unlike talking therapy, it doesn't require you to describe difficult memories in detail or find the right words for what happened. It works directly with the nervous system, helping it process what it hasn't been able to, so that past experiences lose their grip on how you feel and function now.

Many of the people I work with are self-aware and have already thought carefully about what happened, without that thinking changing how they feel or behave. EMDR can reach what reflection alone hasn't been able to. Where estrangement is what we're working on, it can sit alongside that work, addressing what the body is still carrying while the rest of the work builds understanding and practical change.

What are your fees?

Current fees and session options are on the ready to book page.

Do you work online or in person?

Sessions are currently available online and I cover the whole of the UK. If you're unsure if this works for you, we can talk it through in your initial consultation.

How often do we meet, and for how long?

Sessions are typically 50 minutes, once a week. Therapy often begins weekly to build steadiness and momentum, then becomes less frequent as you feel more grounded. We can agree a rhythm that works for you.

How long will therapy take?

It varies. Some clients come for short-term work focused on a specific transition. Others stay longer as part of a deeper shift. You're not locked in. We check in regularly and you decide what feels right.

Will this be confidential?

Yes. Sessions are fully confidential. The only exceptions are where there are serious concerns about your safety or the safety of others, and these limits are explained clearly from the start.

What's your style in the room?

Warm, attentive, and direct. I ask thoughtful questions, offer gentle challenge where it's useful, and stay genuinely engaged in what's happening for you. I'm not the therapist who simply nods along.

How do I know if we're a good fit?

Fit matters. That's why I offer an initial consultation. It's a chance for you to get a feel for how I work, and for us to see whether this feels like the right space for you. There's no pressure to commit.

What's the first step?

Book an initial conversation to explore what's happening for you and whether this feels like the right support. It's simply a space to be heard and to decide what feels right at this stage.

If you're looking for a therapist or coach who simply agrees with you, I may not be the right fit.

If you want someone in your corner, actively engaged in your process, you're welcome to get in touch.